Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Clueless


I don't know what i'm doing.. I can't ignore myself.. what i really want.. it really hurts to be treated this way.. despite all the good i've done my whole life.. i am always taken for granted..

Why do i look the way i look.. why do the women who i don't like find me to be attractive.. and the ones i do just don't even understand how strong my feelings are..

For the 1st time ever since i started this blog.. i'm clueless and lost for words.. i really don't know what to say or what to do.. i'm so troubled and hurt.. i don't wan't to cry.. but i need to.. but i can't...

The funny part is that i'm not angry.. but there is this rage inside me which is mad enough to slaughter at sight.. I hope i never ever meet the villain of the story in this life.. If i do.. i will just kill without conscience.. it would become a blood bath of an evil soul..

But i'm breaking down into pieces.. why can't you see this.. do i deserve this? why did you do this to me? what did i ever do wrong.. well if its not me and its you.... you know how willing i am to give and sacrifice..

Oh yes i literally drowned myself in pain when you said that it freaks you out that i would always make this happen.. it means much..

So i'm still contemplating on finally pulling my plug out.. but the world will lose.. lose what? i fear to be this way.. pretending to be happy.. when i'm fucking crying and bleeding in sorrow inside me..

I don't think i've got much time left.. the turn of events have reduced it at large.. i really don't want to continue in this shit hole anymore... i think i'm deciding.. i had a five year plan.. but looks like i really don't have the patience to suffer for such a long time..

My last wish... i await one phone call.. this could make me the happiest man on earth.. So all i want for Christmas is you..

Dear lord.. if there is a lord god the almighty maker of heaven and earth.. Why have you forsaken me.. trust in my.. self righteous suicide.. i cry... do angels deserve to die?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Ha Ha Destiny my ass

The perfect match and the perfect combination

They were destined to be..

But guess there's always a looser in the picture who can even over power destiny..

Ha ha the option is always there!!

There is always an option but guess it is the choice that we make that makes us happy or suffer

Wherever you will go- The Calling

So lately, I've been wonderin
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go

Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Ugly Truth

Here I am facing reality once again.. I thought i was in love I still feel so..
I've made many mistakes.. this certainly isn't one of them..
I've never done anything wrong to anyone.. Don't mean to hurt anyones feelings despite how much they hurt mine..

But sometimes people are are blinded by the things that happen to them and have no faith in anything.. I pity such people who are innately pure in heart.. But i guess people are influenced alot by the things they experience.. Ahh but its a choice they make.. who am i to correct their path and faith? The question remains unanswered..

I wish people could see the ugly truth about others.. even family can be very shrewd at times..

The truth is you wont believe that even your own little sister can be manipulating you.. taking you for granted and making use of the circumstances you grow up as an excuse to blind you.. and yes you are blind.. blind as a bat.. so much so that the love you have for your so called family has made you foolish enough to continue to prioritize them over all the true friends and loved ones who care so much about you, more than anything else..

What i really don't understand is.. why do you forget all the good things people have done to you and only remember the bad things that fate took its best out of..

I suggest you think twice about your life and re-look at all the things that has happened to you.. the people you've met.. the good things that they've done.. the bad things they've done.. how many have really gone out of their way to help you in your tough times.. does your family really care about you no matter what.. who are your true friends.. are your brothers and sisters with you the same way you are when they need you..

I'm not perfect.. neither is anyone else.. but my heart is pure and my love is true... I care for those who i love more than anything else in the world.. i wish people could see that..

I have good friends.. I don't like to make new ones.. I have a great future.. I don't like others ruining it for me..

They say there is no harm in telling a thousand lies to do something really good.. I didn't lie.. just didn't admit the truth.. but i really wanted to confess and spit it all out to you.. Never meant to hide the truth or my real feelings for you.. But you never gave me a chance.. I even told you that i need to tell you the truth about something.. it was high time.. but guess you had other priorities..

If you really feel the same way for me.. please knock on my door.. because its open for you.. Don't hurt your true friends.. they only want what is best for you.. try to understand this..

This is "the ugly truth".. face it.. I think its high time..

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Addicted to alcohol or drugs


Using alcohol or drugs regularly is usually just a step away from addiction — where you depend on these substances to feel good or get through your day.

Here are a few warning signs that someone may have a substance abuse problem:

· relying on drugs or alcohol to have fun, forget problems, or relax
· having blackouts
· drinking or using drugs while alone
· withdrawing or keeping secrets from friends or family
· losing interest in activities that used to be important
· performing differently in school (such as grades dropping and frequent absences)
· building an increased tolerance to alcohol or drugs — gradually needing more and more of the substance to get the same feeling
· lying, stealing, or selling stuff to get money for drugs or alcohol

It's usually hard for people to recognize they have a problem, which is why friends or family often step in. Quitting is hard to do, and many people find they can't do it without help. The best thing you can do is to talk to someone you trust — preferably an adult who can support you — so you don't have to deal with your problem alone.

Lots of resources are available for people with substance abuse problems. Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous offer information and recovery programs for teens.
When your parents were young, people could buy cigarettes and smoke pretty much anywhere — even in hospitals! Ads for cigarettes were all over the place. Today we're more aware about how bad smoking is for our health. Smoking is restricted or banned in almost all public places and cigarette companies are no longer allowed to advertise on TV, radio, and in many magazines.

Almost everyone knows that smoking causes cancer, emphysema, and heart disease; that it can shorten your life by 10 years or more; and that the habit can cost a smoker thousands of dollars a year. So how come people are still lighting up? The answer, in a word, is addiction.


Once You Start, It's Hard to Stop

Smoking is a hard habit to break because tobacco contains nicotine, which is highly addictive. Like heroin or other addictive drugs, the body and mind quickly become so used to the nicotine in cigarettes that a person needs to have it just to feel normal.

People start smoking for a variety of different reasons. Some think it looks cool. Others start because their family members or friends smoke. Statistics show that about 9 out of 10 tobacco users start before they're 18 years old. Most adults who started smoking in their teens never expected to become addicted. That's why people say it's just so much easier to not start smoking at all.

How Smoking Affects Your Health

There are no physical reasons to start smoking. The body doesn't need tobacco the way it needs food, water, sleep, and exercise. In fact, many of the chemicals in cigarettes, like nicotine and cyanide, are actually poisons that can kill in high enough doses.

The body is smart. It goes on the defense when it's being poisoned. For this reason, many people find it takes several tries to get started smoking: First-time smokers often feel pain or burning in the throat and lungs, and some people feel sick or even throw up the first few times they try tobacco.

The consequences of this poisoning happen gradually. Over the long term, smoking leads people to develop health problems like heart disease, stroke, emphysema (breakdown of lung tissue), and many types of cancer — including lung, throat, stomach, and bladder cancer. People who smoke also have an increased risk of infections like bronchitis and pneumonia.

These diseases limit a person's ability to be normally active, and they can be fatal. Each time a smoker lights up, that single cigarette takes about 5 to 20 minutes off the person's life.

Smokers not only develop wrinkles and yellow teeth, they also lose bone density, which increases their risk of osteoporosis (pronounced: ahs-tee-o-puh-row-sus), a condition that causes older people to become bent over and their bones to break more easily. Smokers also tend to be less active than nonsmokers because smoking affects lung power.

Smoking can also cause fertility problems and can impact sexual health in both men and women. Girls who are on the pill or other hormone-based methods of birth control (like the patch or the ring) increase their risk of serious health problems, such as heart attacks, if they smoke.

The consequences of smoking may seem very far off, but long-term health problems aren't the only hazard of smoking. Nicotine and the other toxins in cigarettes, cigars, and pipes can affect a person's body quickly, which means that teen smokers experience many of these problems:

1) Bad skin. Because smoking restricts blood vessels, it can prevent oxygen and nutrients from getting to the skin — which is why smokers often appear pale and unhealthy. An Italian study also linked smoking to an increased risk of getting a type of skin rash called psoriasis.

2) Bad breath. Cigarettes leave smokers with a condition called halitosis, or persistent bad breath.

3) Bad-smelling clothes and hair. The smell of stale smoke tends to linger — not just on people's clothing, but on their hair, furniture, and cars. And it's often hard to get the smell of smoke out.

4) Reduced athletic performance. People who smoke usually can't compete with nonsmoking peers because the physical effects of smoking (like rapid heartbeat, decreased circulation, and shortness of breath) impair sports performance.

5) Greater risk of injury and slower healing time. Smoking affects the body's ability to produce collagen, so common sports injuries, such as damage to tendons and ligaments, will heal more slowly in smokers than nonsmokers.

6) Increased risk of illness. Studies show that smokers get more colds, flu, bronchitis, and pneumonia than nonsmokers. And people with certain health conditions, like asthma, become more sick if they smoke (and often if they're just around people who smoke). Because teens who smoke as a way to manage weight often light up instead of eating, their bodies lack the nutrients they need to grow, develop, and fight off illness properly.

Kicking Butts and Staying Smoke Free

All forms of tobacco — cigarettes, pipes, cigars, and smokeless tobacco — are hazardous. It doesn't help to substitute products that seem like they're better for you than regular cigarettes, such as filtered or low-tar cigarettes.

The only thing that really helps a person avoid the problems associated with smoking is staying smoke free. This isn't always easy, especially if everyone around you is smoking and offering you cigarettes. It may help to have your reasons for not smoking ready for times you may feel the pressure, such as "I just don't like it" or "I want to stay in shape for soccer" (or football, basketball, or other sport).
T
he good news for people who don't smoke or who want to quit is that studies show that the number of teens who smoke has dropped dramatically. Today, about 23% of high school students smoke.

If you do smoke and want to quit, you have lots of information and support available. Different approaches to quitting work for different people. For some, quitting cold turkey is best. Others find that a slower approach is the way to go. Some people find that it helps to go to a support group especially for teens.

When quitting, it can be helpful to realize that the first few days are the hardest. So don’t give up. Some people find they have a few relapses before they manage to quit for good.
Staying smoke free will give you a whole lot more of everything — more energy, better performance, better looks, more money in your pocket, and, in the long run, more life to live!


Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Apologize(cover) by Boyce Avenue


I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin newI loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say..."Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Unfaithful by Rihanna


Story of my life, searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul ?cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He's more than a man and this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
But clouds are rolling in because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside

I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be a murderer

I feel it in the air as I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss up on my cheek, he's here reluctantly
As if I'm gonna be out late

I say I won't be long just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

?Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside

I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be a murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun
And put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore, anymore

And I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside

And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be a murderer
A murderer, no no no
Yeah

Thursday, November 26, 2009

How to make your heart and mind work together?

I try to believe like I believed when I was 5... when your heart tells you everything you need to know. ~ Lucy Liu

The same voice in your mind that told you to act, is the same voice that ridicules you later for making that choice. Unfortunately, it’s typical in our society to feel a conflict between what we want to do (our heart) and what we feel is practical (our mind). We end up living one third of our lives in a cubicle for the “benefits.” We stay friends with people we only kind of like. We do and say things to fit in and seem cool that really go against what we feel is right in our hearts. Is your heart at fault? Are your feelings just silly and frivolous? Or maybe it’s your mind that’s to blame. It might seem like it’s always coming up with conflicting messages anyway. And on it goes and we never really seem to get to it.

There’s a lot of social conditioning that covers up and obscures things too. Even if you really feel like that’s the right choice, how do you know for sure? How do you know it’s not just what you think you should do? All of this might sound a little over the top, but it’s a real problem. It ruins lives because people can’t make up their minds about whether or not the path of their heart is valid or not. They end up living a shadow of the possibility that they could. All because they couldn’t make up their mind. There’s a simple answer to this problem. It might seem even a little too simple. But most things are.

Bruce Lee once said “The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.” First, let’s take a look at where this problem starts.

O my mind, You talk too much! Do follow my heart ,That lives in silence.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Running Away by Hoobastank


I don't want you, to give it all up
And leave your own life, collecting dust
And I don't want you, to feel sorry for me
You never gave us, a chance to be

And I don't need you, to be by my side
To tell me, that everything's alright
I just wanted you, to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Cause I did enough, to show you that I
Was willing to give, and sacrifice
And I was the one, who was lifting you up
When you thought your life had had enough

And when I get close, you turn away
There's nothing that I can do or say
So now I need you, to tell me the truth
You know I'd do that for you

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away?

Is it me, is it you? (is it me, is it you)
Nothing that, I can do (nothing that, I can do)
To make you, change your mind (to make you)

Is it me, is it you? (so why do - you run - away)
Nothing that, I can do (won’t you tell me)
Is it a, waste of time? (why do - you run - away)

Is it me, is it you?
Nothing that, I can do
To make you, change your mind - no

So why are you running away?
Why are you running away? (what is it, I have to say)

So why are you running away? (to make you admit, you're afraid)
Why are you running away?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

SOLITUDE

Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone, and it has also created the word Solitude to express the glory of being alone.
I think seeking solitude will make me a better novelist but everyone else thinks I’m just being an asshole.
But what is interesting is that a distinction can be made between physical and mental seclusion.
I may seek physical seclusion to remove distractions and make it easier to concentrate, reflect, or meditate. However, this is not necessarily an end in and of itself.
Once I achieve a certain capacity to resist distractions, I become less sensitive to distractions and more capable of maintaining mindfulness and staying inwardly absorbed and concentrated. Thus, unless I am on a mission of helping others, don't like to seek any interaction with the external physical world. My mindfulness is my world, at least ostensibly.
So I stand in solitude, I hear the ticking of the clock
Seeking and exploring new horizons deep within myself
As the day goes by so very slowly, Oh I hope that it won't end though
But the secret is still my own and now it chills me to the bone
As I reflect my conscious or unconscious decisions made in seclusion

Sunday, August 9, 2009

THE CALL-REGINA SPEKTOR

It started out as a feeling, Which then grew into a hope, Which then turned into a quiet thought, Which then turned into a quiet word, And then that word grew louder and louder, 'Til it was a battle cry!
I'll come back, When you call me, No need to say goodbye!
Just because everything's changing, Doesn't mean it's never been this way before, All you can do is try to know, Who your friends are, As you head off to the war, Pick a star on the dark horizon, And follow the light!
You'll come back, When it's over, No need to say good bye!
You'll come back, When it's over, No need to say good bye!
Now we're back to the beginning, It's just a feeling and no one knows yet, But just because they can't feel it too, Doesn't mean that you have to forget!
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger, 'Til they're before your eyes!
You'll come back, When they call you, No need to say good bye!
You'll come back, When they call you, No need to say good bye!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Alter Bridge : Broken Wings

Fight the fight alone,
When the world is full of victims,
Dims the faded light in our souls,
Leave the piece alone,
How we are is slowly changing,
Dims the faded lights in our souls.
In my opinion seeing is to know,
The things we hold are always first to go,
Whose to say we won't end up alone
On broken wings I'm falling,
And it won't be long,
The skin on me burning by the fires of the sun,
On skinned knees I'm bleeding,
And it won't be long,
I've got to find that meaning,
That I've searched for so long
Cry ourselves to sleep,
We will sleep alone forever,
Will you lay me down in the same place with all the love,
Mend the broken home,
Care for them they are our brothers,
Save the fading light in our souls.
My opinion seeing is to know,
And what you give will always carry you,
And whose to say we wont survive it too
On broken wings I'm falling,
And it won't be long,
The skin on me burning by the fires of the sun,
On skinned knees I'm bleeding,
And it won't be long,
I've got to find that meaning,
That I've searched for so long
Set afree all,
Relying on the will to make me all that I am and all I'll be,
Set afree all,
To fall between the cracks of memories of all that I am,
And all I'll be,
On broken wings I'm falling,
And it won't be long,
The skin on me burning by the fires of the sun,
On skinned knees I'm bleeding,
And it won't be long,
I've got to find that meaning,
That I've searched for so long

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Elongated Road

It has been a long ride so far, yet the destination is to be unfolded.

It has been a desperate struggle against all opposing forces that have crossed my path.

The battles faced have been so intense that each and every battle has left a scar, painful yet enticing.

The passages full of complexities and puzzles have tested my wrath with full force.

Yes I have been defeated in many battles and wounded badly. Beaten up so hard that recovery was just impossible. Alas I did heal after much treatment.

But what I fail to understand is that the road is just a path which time would take me through. Obstacles are always inherited by my own actions. I have taken short cuts which have got me ahead but some have just been dead ends. Most D-tours have been just a long ride with less activity, but much patience was required to get back on track.

Everything that happens is a reaction to the path I choose and the mode of transport I use or the companions I tag along with or even the means that I pursue to earn my daily bread.

If only there was a better way to travel without any of the distractions!

Why do I have to use a mode of transportation? Can’t I just walk? Does the ride have to be comfortable? Do I need to earn my daily bread? Why not I just get it free, whenever I want it? Do I have to meet companions or fellow travelers? Can't I just do this alone? Do I have to be satisfied with delicacies that don’t last through the ride? Do I have to use different paths? Why can’t I just take the road that I know best? Why does everyone else come to me and look up to me and expect things in return? Do I have to be a good friend? Do I have to be honest or dishonest? Do I need to get distracted by everything that lies within my reach? Why do these fuel my mind with joy, love, jealousy, anger and sadness? Why is it necessary for me to be sensitive to all these humane feelings that are just mere meaningless activities that take place one after the other?

It is a vicious cycle!!!

Then the question arises of god the almighty! What role does he/she play in this chaotic journey? It is said that we all have a purpose and that is why we have been brought upon this road! But why? Can't god just tell us what we need to do and what our purpose is? Why give us this puzzle known as life and are told to travel with time and go through these roads?

So many questions... None can be answered.. What motivation is left for me to continue this journey that I have begun without my knowledge?

I'm honestly tired, I want to retire!

Everything is driving me nuts.. I have no peace of mind.. My mistakes have caused me dearly.. But how am I to know what is right or wrong.. I can only find out after doing it..

All these days I have been traveling with much confidence, positivity and a sense of purpose to be someone and make a mark on the roads that I travel.. Make friends.. Earn wealth and other possessions that bring me comfort and joy..

But this time it’s different.. I've come to a point of no return.. As the battles just keep getting tougher on this path that I've chosen.. Whatever I have gained and earned so far are the only things that are left for me.

I was wounded badly in my last battle.. But I bounced back and I thought that I would never chose that road again no matter how exciting it could be.. But strangers keep crossing my path distracting me and creating illusions in my mind.. I was tough for some time.. As I was experienced and knew the chaos that battle had caused..

But here I am once again with both my feet firm on a similar battle again.. This time "I" decided to take on this battle, of course with much contemplation.. It is a difficult battle with many passengers that I needed to impress if I was to continue.. Many tests were put forward.. I faced all of them with fearless honesty.. But the battle intense as ever kept on giving me a hard time and still continues to do so.. I'm hurting once again.. but I've no choice but to battle it out.. the fight is tough and my opponents are invisible.. I'm fighting with everything I've got.. this will be my last battle of this nature.. no matter what the outcome is.. I told myself so, even before I started to fight.. If I am victorious, it would be an interesting journey ahead.. But if I fail, I shall never fight again.. my journey will be different.. but I don’t have the desire to battle again.. as all hope will be lost for me..

I am preparing myself to continue this fight... awaiting with much anticipation a result good or bad.. at this point I'd be glad if my journey could be ended..

I don't want to continue this journey..

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Nevermore- Godless Endeavour- Born


The seed of ignorance is born, thou shalt not think, thou shalt conform

The pigs order us to follow orders and obey

The flies drink the decaying nectar of their tortured effigy

Cling to wasted beliefs and visions and bathe in apathy again

No solution, the retribution of spiritual sickness begins

The legacy of suffering is through, the guilt we bear shall not tear us in two


Born we are the same, within the silence, indifference be they name

Torn we walk alone, we sleep in silent shades

The grandeur fades, the meaning never known

If nothing in the world can change our children will inherit nothing

Born we are the same, within the silence, indifference be they name

Torn we walk alone, we sleep in silent shades

The grandeur fades, the meaning never known

The pigs call for pure submission anbd fall into the fray

The lonely hunter beats his shallow drum, the soundtrack of world disarray

Cling to wasted beliefs and visions and bathe in apathy again

No solution, the retribution of spiritual sickness begins


Born we are the same, within the silence, indifference be they name

Torn we walk alone, we sleep in silent shades

The grandeur fades, the meaning never known

If nothing in the world can change our children will inherit nothing

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Mixed Emotion

I've felt all these emotions a human could possibly have before. It has been a long journey so far! and I've wondered if there could be anything different to look forward to!!

But lore I’m feeling it right now! It’s a feeling that cannot be explained! it’s a combination of several emotions at the same time.

I've heard the quote of "butterflies in your belly" before. But this one’s strange. So strange that it feels as if a stampede of harmless dino's thumping inside of me.

At the same time it feels as if a bolt of lightning just hit me. I feel as if I’m making a big mistake and walking into misery that would torture every inch of me.
Ah the feeling is unbearable.. Patience is what keeps me strong during this heavy flow of strange emotions.. It’s weird and frustrating but it’s great! Ah I think I know what’s wrong.. But I don’t have a choice but to face it.. If not I would be left out.. And I wouldn't know how could it have been.. Seamless confusion!!!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Craving for Chicken


Hunger is one of the few cravings that cannot be appeased with another solution.

I've been having this craving for chicken for quite some time now. Especially the mouth watering sensation of savouring a chicken leg in my mouth, mmm.. mm.. deep fried chicken, poked at by sticks and perfect dipping.. hmm.. its worth every penny!

The best part is the variety of dishes - Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good. Oh and dont even get me started about Indian.

But as time went by I realised, that this craving for chicken continued to crawl inside me.. crawling in me like a leech sucking every little drop of blood that it could in every inch it moved! It made me so evil that I couldn't eat anything without chicken.. I'd even walk miles to find a place where I could get my chicken.. my chicken.. I even get very possessive about it.. the look on my face when I get hold of it, makes everyone else feel sorry for me as if it is an innocent childish crave.. a brilliant disguise so convincing that it would even fool a beggar on the street... little do they know that inside me is this sinister desire to devour the meat which I behold.. I would never share it.. not even with my closest friends who would walk all the way for me so that I'd get my piece of chicken.. I'd pay any price for it..

Ohhh I feel like a wild, uncivilized carnivore!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Need Hope

Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. To hope is to wish for something with the expectation of the wish being fulfilled, a key condition in unrequited love.


Well thats what i found on wikipedia for Hope....

Why does it suck to be in a rut where you dont know what to do with yourself?

Simple, coz you have no hope left...

You have no idea as to how much hope can do to anyones life.. It is always good to be optimistic but should always know to look at defeat in the same way..

Oh dear so this all connects to the simple boring theme of love.. how? If it weren't for love there will be no hope.. if there was no passion there will be no hope..

So as for all those who are thinking that there is no hope left in your lives, think again.. Well I'm beyond repair.. but however, I still try to fool myself by hoping!




Friday, January 2, 2009

Shooting Star


It was another sleepless night
I was petrified
The thought of insomnia lurking in my mind
The cold wind filled my soul with dark desires
I couldn’t take this anymore
My inner peace has left me for good
I left my bed and moved to my roof
There I sat not knowing what to do…
Waiting... impatiently…
But for what! I couldn’t fathom…
I was looking deep into the stars
Praying for a ray of hope
Suddenly the still of the night hushed
Behold it shone bright
It was moving rapidly in the sky
This was the first time I saw something as splendid as this on a random night
It was a shooting star
I wanted to make a wish
But I realized that the only thing I’d ever wished for
Was not mine anymore… I knew that I could never have it back
I still wished for it… foolish hope…
Oh! That foul love I doth beseech for...
When will this torment come to an end?
I do not know… But one thing I knew for sure
It is a curse to be in my place!
Perhaps I have sinned in the life before...