Elongated Road

It has been a long ride so far, yet the destination is to be unfolded.

It has been a desperate struggle against all opposing forces that have crossed my path.

The battles faced have been so intense that each and every battle has left a scar, painful yet enticing.

The passages full of complexities and puzzles have tested my wrath with full force.

Yes I have been defeated in many battles and wounded badly. Beaten up so hard that recovery was just impossible. Alas I did heal after much treatment.

But what I fail to understand is that the road is just a path which time would take me through. Obstacles are always inherited by my own actions. I have taken short cuts which have got me ahead but some have just been dead ends. Most D-tours have been just a long ride with less activity, but much patience was required to get back on track.

Everything that happens is a reaction to the path I choose and the mode of transport I use or the companions I tag along with or even the means that I pursue to earn my daily bread.

If only there was a better way to travel without any of the distractions!

Why do I have to use a mode of transportation? Can’t I just walk? Does the ride have to be comfortable? Do I need to earn my daily bread? Why not I just get it free, whenever I want it? Do I have to meet companions or fellow travelers? Can't I just do this alone? Do I have to be satisfied with delicacies that don’t last through the ride? Do I have to use different paths? Why can’t I just take the road that I know best? Why does everyone else come to me and look up to me and expect things in return? Do I have to be a good friend? Do I have to be honest or dishonest? Do I need to get distracted by everything that lies within my reach? Why do these fuel my mind with joy, love, jealousy, anger and sadness? Why is it necessary for me to be sensitive to all these humane feelings that are just mere meaningless activities that take place one after the other?

It is a vicious cycle!!!

Then the question arises of god the almighty! What role does he/she play in this chaotic journey? It is said that we all have a purpose and that is why we have been brought upon this road! But why? Can't god just tell us what we need to do and what our purpose is? Why give us this puzzle known as life and are told to travel with time and go through these roads?

So many questions... None can be answered.. What motivation is left for me to continue this journey that I have begun without my knowledge?

I'm honestly tired, I want to retire!

Everything is driving me nuts.. I have no peace of mind.. My mistakes have caused me dearly.. But how am I to know what is right or wrong.. I can only find out after doing it..

All these days I have been traveling with much confidence, positivity and a sense of purpose to be someone and make a mark on the roads that I travel.. Make friends.. Earn wealth and other possessions that bring me comfort and joy..

But this time it’s different.. I've come to a point of no return.. As the battles just keep getting tougher on this path that I've chosen.. Whatever I have gained and earned so far are the only things that are left for me.

I was wounded badly in my last battle.. But I bounced back and I thought that I would never chose that road again no matter how exciting it could be.. But strangers keep crossing my path distracting me and creating illusions in my mind.. I was tough for some time.. As I was experienced and knew the chaos that battle had caused..

But here I am once again with both my feet firm on a similar battle again.. This time "I" decided to take on this battle, of course with much contemplation.. It is a difficult battle with many passengers that I needed to impress if I was to continue.. Many tests were put forward.. I faced all of them with fearless honesty.. But the battle intense as ever kept on giving me a hard time and still continues to do so.. I'm hurting once again.. but I've no choice but to battle it out.. the fight is tough and my opponents are invisible.. I'm fighting with everything I've got.. this will be my last battle of this nature.. no matter what the outcome is.. I told myself so, even before I started to fight.. If I am victorious, it would be an interesting journey ahead.. But if I fail, I shall never fight again.. my journey will be different.. but I don’t have the desire to battle again.. as all hope will be lost for me..

I am preparing myself to continue this fight... awaiting with much anticipation a result good or bad.. at this point I'd be glad if my journey could be ended..

I don't want to continue this journey..