Drugs

Picking up a new addiction to curb the other, It's hard to let go of an addiction, especially one that I've been addicted to for a seriously extremely totally very long time.

Been having cravings, and it's hard for me to just wave it off. I can't just satisfy it...That's what that is making life hard. Getting my mind of it is the only way but the only thing strong enough to get my mind off it is by inflicting pain upon myself. Nothing else works.

I've been getting odd dreams for a some time and I’m starting to wonder if it's a sign from somewhere. It's a dream 'telling' me to pick up drugging to curb the other addiction. But it doesn't seem like a very saint thing to do, well not like I’ve been a very good saint. I'm more of a devil anyways.

The only part about my dream that I remember is me doing drugs, it gave me a relieving feeling every time. It's already so orgasmic in my dream, how heavenly would it get in real life?I've hated drug addicts for ages, and I never saw myself being in this situation before.

I feel like the biggest hypocrite on the universe now.I've not started doing drugs yet, but it's taking every single bit of strength I’ve got to hold myself back from picking up such a habit.