Nightmare

Why do I all of a sudden start remembering my nightmares? Nightmares that seem so real that showers me with emotions. It hits me like a meteor shower, constantly and painfully.

The nightmare I had this morning was of someone who means a lot to me. A person with a special smile that coloured my world. I wish that she could be by my side, day and night till the day I die. Dreaming about her used to brighten my day; but now it puts me in a state of dilemma where I feel that I can’t proceed...

It's a dose of happiness that I long seek for; she turned my world around…

Arrgggh!!!! This cursed love that ripped my heart apart…

If only I could go back in time... If I could undo the decision that I made to love.. The decision to agree to the madness bestowed upon me by.. by.. Arrghhh..

This cursed love that ripped my heart apart…

Drugs

Picking up a new addiction to curb the other, It's hard to let go of an addiction, especially one that I've been addicted to for a seriously extremely totally very long time.

Been having cravings, and it's hard for me to just wave it off. I can't just satisfy it...That's what that is making life hard. Getting my mind of it is the only way but the only thing strong enough to get my mind off it is by inflicting pain upon myself. Nothing else works.

I've been getting odd dreams for a some time and I’m starting to wonder if it's a sign from somewhere. It's a dream 'telling' me to pick up drugging to curb the other addiction. But it doesn't seem like a very saint thing to do, well not like I’ve been a very good saint. I'm more of a devil anyways.

The only part about my dream that I remember is me doing drugs, it gave me a relieving feeling every time. It's already so orgasmic in my dream, how heavenly would it get in real life?I've hated drug addicts for ages, and I never saw myself being in this situation before.

I feel like the biggest hypocrite on the universe now.I've not started doing drugs yet, but it's taking every single bit of strength I’ve got to hold myself back from picking up such a habit.

Exploding Soul

I was in a state of obliteration.

At that very juncture, all I could see was my whole life flash right through me.

All the warmness's in life was being sucked out of my soul literally, darkness was the only thing left in me.

Numbness was the only thing that I could feel, nothing could or would penetrate my already harden heart. I'm shutting everything out of my life, because I choose to do so. It felt good being shut out, because it gives me a taste of solitude.
Pandora's Box had been planted in me; neither I nor you would know when it would unleash its content. Only time would tell.

My flaming passion to explore the long and winding journey of life had been blown out, stripped bare from the colours and surrounded by darkness; LOST was what I felt.

Nothing brought meaning to me like it used to before, life became meaningless to me.

MONOTONOUS was the only thing that well described the present me at that time.
All my face showed was demise.

That's when I started putting on a mask, a mask that was so thick that it fooled all.All I wished for was death to be brought upon me.

I continue to wear the same mask, even to this day!

Tree of Life

Many myths describe eternal life with several metaphors like the immortal drink, the perpetual ray and god’s gift. But the most intriguing path to eternal life is the sap from the tree of life. Legends say that the tree of life exists in a paradise in the highest peak of earth where the gods themselves assemble to discuss the fate of all humanity. The tree stands in the center of this paradise, where its sap is drunk by the gods and the chosen ones.

Men who were haunted by the vastness of eternity fled in search of eternal life. The journey is perilous, yet enticing. Several failed but some returned after centuries past as immortals. Ballads were sung and legends were narrated across lands about these men who cannot be slain. Yet the undisclosed query lies within these men who have acquired perpetual existence. Is eternal life a blessing or a curse?

Why does man fear death? Is it love? Or is it these human desires that man has discovered and developed since the dark ages? The contemporary man may ask himself, will my actions echo across for centuries like the tales of the immortal warriors? Will my name be written on stone like the names of the kings of old?

In reality, man still seeks eternity. The world is changing and people are changing. Men have risen and fallen. Does this cycle have an end? Will man’s search for eternity end? Will the modern man find the tree of life?

A man who thinks beyond mortal desires and steps out of the shadow of knowledge will indeed find the tree of life. A man who is wise to realize, that the tree of life is only a metaphor, a twist in the myth. The tree of life is none other than the earth itself. The earth has fed and bourn all species for billions of years. A man who dreams to make the world better, does not fear death. A man with conscience will strive to be a better human being. This man will achieve the wisdom of inner peace. This indeed is immortality. A man who does not fear to serve his time on earth as a mortal who knows that all death is certain achieves immortality. Eternal life is not for flesh and blood but for the soul of a perfect human.



But still the battle for eternity is a fantasy of a lifetime!!